#1. This spectral pupper-lover.
Me, as a ghost: GET OUT
homeowners: grab the dog let’s get out of here!
Me: LEAVE THE DOG WHO’S A GOOD BOY WHO’S A GOOD BOY THAT’S RIGHT U R
— Sassafrantz (@Sassafrantz) June 14, 2016
#2. These wild evening plans.
Friend: You going out tonight?
Friend: What are you gonna do?
Me: I’m having some friends over for dinner pic.twitter.com/5XnXiq5wPe
— Tim (@Playing_Dad) January 22, 2016
#3. This career advice.
me: dog wedding planner
career counselor: a dog who plans weddings or a person who plans dog weddings?
me: can you make it happen or not
— Starmie Kitten (@yellowcardigan) February 17, 2016
#4. This blossoming romance.
Maybe next time i could meet your dog
Your dog is so cool
Do u mind if me & your dog hung out without you
— Lazy dog (@LaziestCanine) October 22, 2015
#5. This shocking admission.
In 34 years I’ve said I love you to two women and every dog I’ve ever seen.
— Matt Monroe (@heymonroe) April 1, 2016
#6. This 100% true fact.
You can’t tell me what to do, you’re not my dog
— Optimistic Pugnado (@LuvPug) March 9, 2016
#7. This struggle.
My life is a constant battle of wanting to pet a dog and not wanting to talk to its owner.
— Lindsay (@Rollinintheseat) January 23, 2016
#8. This consideration.
No you can’t sit there my dog might sit there.
— Baby Swayze (@buhsbaby_baby) June 12, 2016
#9. This dream come true.
Cool date idea:
Bring your dog to my house..then leave
— Shiloh Berger (@BergerShiloh) February 26, 2016
#10. This, this, this.
When you’re at a party and the dog comes downstairs pic.twitter.com/t2E13mhD4k
— Pryce (@nickpryce4) February 27, 2016
#11. This silly human.
[bends down to pet your dog]
Me: what’s this guys name
Owner: this is-
Me [not breaking eye contact with dog]: yeah I wasn’t talking to you
— David Hughes (@david8hughes) January 31, 2016
#12. This overly-attached dog walker.
Why is our dog walker acting like she’s in an intimate relationship with our dog just because we no longer need her pic.twitter.com/VfKzvCSu8A
— cher (@cherish_lewis1) May 18, 2016
#13. This brilliant idea.
A strip club, but instead of women taking their clothes off it’s just dogs and instead of lap dances you can just pet the dogs.
— Ben (@franzferdinand2) May 22, 2013
#14. This even better idea.
Thinking about quitting my job to spend more time with the dog
— Jacob Swift (@jacob_swift16) January 19, 2016
#15. This awkward date.
Her: I’m really glad you asked me out yesterday in the park
Me: *looking under table* you didn’t bring your dog?
— Eldge (@Sickayduh) August 11, 2015
#16. This absolute truth.
u know what i like about people?
— Dory (@Dory) July 24, 2016
#17. This sneaky so-and-so.
nice dog. Sure would be a shame if someone were to…pet it for like 40 minutes
— Fred Delicious (@Fred_Delicious) February 3, 2016
#18. This cop with an ulterior motive.
Cop: Do you know why I’ve pulled you over?
Me: *rolls eyes* yes..
Cop: *finishes petting my puppy through the window* ok that’ll be all sir
— GoaT FacE (@EndhooS) August 21, 2015
#19. And this puppy dating profile.
Friendship requirements: be fun-loving, low maintenance, cute, furry, four-legged, a dog.
— braden graeber (@hipstermermaid) January 20, 2015