19 Tweets That Are Too Real For Anyone Who Loves Dogs More Than People

#1. This spectral pupper-lover.

Me, as a ghost: GET OUT
homeowners: grab the dog let’s get out of here!

— Sassafrantz (@Sassafrantz) June 14, 2016

#2. These wild evening plans.

Friend: You going out tonight?
Me: No
Friend: What are you gonna do?
Me: I’m having some friends over for dinner

— Tim (@Playing_Dad) January 22, 2016

#3. This career advice.

me: dog wedding planner

career counselor: a dog who plans weddings or a person who plans dog weddings?

me: can you make it happen or not

— Starmie Kitten (@yellowcardigan) February 17, 2016

#4. This blossoming romance.

[1st date]
Maybe next time i could meet your dog

[2nd date]
Your dog is so cool

[3rd date]
Do u mind if me & your dog hung out without you

— Lazy dog (@LaziestCanine) October 22, 2015

#5. This shocking admission.

In 34 years I’ve said I love you to two women and every dog I’ve ever seen.

— Matt Monroe (@heymonroe) April 1, 2016

#6. This 100% true fact.

You can’t tell me what to do, you’re not my dog

— Optimistic Pugnado (@LuvPug) March 9, 2016

#7. This struggle.

My life is a constant battle of wanting to pet a dog and not wanting to talk to its owner.

— Lindsay (@Rollinintheseat) January 23, 2016

#8. This consideration.

No you can’t sit there my dog might sit there.

— Baby Swayze (@buhsbaby_baby) June 12, 2016

#9. This dream come true.

Cool date idea:
Bring your dog to my house..then leave

— Shiloh Berger (@BergerShiloh) February 26, 2016

#10. This, this, this.

When you’re at a party and the dog comes downstairs

— Pryce (@nickpryce4) February 27, 2016

#11. This silly human.

[bends down to pet your dog]
Me: what’s this guys name
Owner: this is-
Me [not breaking eye contact with dog]: yeah I wasn’t talking to you

— David Hughes (@david8hughes) January 31, 2016

#12. This overly-attached dog walker.

Why is our dog walker acting like she’s in an intimate relationship with our dog just because we no longer need her

— cher (@cherish_lewis1) May 18, 2016

#13. This brilliant idea.

A strip club, but instead of women taking their clothes off it’s just dogs and instead of lap dances you can just pet the dogs.

— Ben (@franzferdinand2) May 22, 2013

#14. This even better idea.

Thinking about quitting my job to spend more time with the dog

— Jacob Swift (@jacob_swift16) January 19, 2016

#15. This awkward date.

[First date]
Her: I’m really glad you asked me out yesterday in the park
Me: *looking under table* you didn’t bring your dog?

— Eldge (@Sickayduh) August 11, 2015

#16. This absolute truth.

u know what i like about people?

their dogs.

— Dory (@Dory) July 24, 2016

#17. This sneaky so-and-so.

nice dog. Sure would be a shame if someone were to…pet it for like 40 minutes

— Fred Delicious (@Fred_Delicious) February 3, 2016

#18. This cop with an ulterior motive.

Cop: Do you know why I’ve pulled you over?
Me: *rolls eyes* yes..
Cop: *finishes petting my puppy through the window* ok that’ll be all sir

— GoaT FacE (@EndhooS) August 21, 2015

#19. And this puppy dating profile.

Friendship requirements: be fun-loving, low maintenance, cute, furry, four-legged, a dog.

— braden graeber (@hipstermermaid) January 20, 2015


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