#1. This kid helping his dad feel body confident.
8yo: Adult polar bears can weigh almost 1,000 pounds.
8yo: Yeah, that’s almost twice as much as you.
Me: . . .
8yo: What? It is.
— keith (@tchrquotes) September 2, 2016
#2. This sassy little one fashion-shaming his mom.
Me: Please get dressed.
9yo: But you’re still in your pajamas!
Me: I AM dressed.
9yo: Is that what you’re calling [waves palm at me] this?
— Kim Bongiorno (@LetMeStart) September 1, 2016
#3. This budding critic.
Me: Where should we go next summer? Maybe Mt. Rushmore?
7yo: No, not interested.
7yo: They didn’t do a very good job carving it.
— Even The Dog’s a Boy (@EvenTheDogsABoy) August 26, 2016
#4. This 7-year-old who’s not impressed with his dad’s choice of wife.
7yo: I could see you and my teacher getting married.
Me: I’m married to your mom.
7yo: Well you could get a divorce.
(My 7yo is savage af.)
— The Glad Stork (@TheGladStork) September 1, 2016
#5. This cunning theft.
I just witnessed my 5yo sister drink my 7yo sisters juice then top it off with her own bottle of water # savage
— blarn. (@veryjustok) August 27, 2016
#6. This astute 10-year-old telling it like it is.
10yo: Grown ups don’t do anything that needs imagination.
7yo: Mum plays shop with me.
10yo: That’s just to keep you quiet.
— Francesca Williams (@cannyfrank) August 27, 2016
#7. This alarming line of questioning.
6yo: Mommy, when you get older will you look all gross?
Me: What do you mean, ‘gross’?
6yo: Like how you are now, but wrinklier.
— Kristen Mae (@AbandonPretense) August 27, 2016
#8. This America’s Got Talent judge in training.
Should i be offended my 3yo covers his ears and yells “STOP!” when i dance?
— Chris Cox (@CyclingCoxy) August 29, 2016
#9. This guy who doesn’t want to upset the dog.
Me: Ethan, you are stinky.
Ethan my 9yo: You smell like a dog’s butt.
He turns to the dog.
Ethan: No offense, Bindi.
— Jeff Kalles (@Sellak) August 28, 2016
#10. This upsetting likeness.
My 6yo daughter just caught me getting out of the shower.
“It looks like a minion!”
— Wyn (@WynRichards) August 27, 2016
#11. This efficient worker who’s getting sick of mommy’s laziness.
This week my 5yo made six little books out of paper and tape and wants to know why my book is taking so long
— lyz lenz (@lyzl) August 28, 2016
#12. This life coach.
8yo: jessica, do you have any children?
Me: no, but I have two dogs!
8yo: maybe you should get some children.
— Jessica Brandt (@theredjuan) August 28, 2016
#13. This keen observation.
It’s our anniversary.
7yo: Why don’t you get breakfast in bed?
Me: Good question.
7yo: Is it because Mummy does all the work?
Me: That’s it!
— Paul (@MPCmonkey) August 28, 2016
#14. This kid who just loves to play the reminding game.
Thankfully I have this 9yo here to remind me I “have extra skin” after this baby. I’d hate to forget.
— inappropriate mom (@nicfit75) September 4, 2016
#15. These sassy siblings.
8yo: I think I just swallowed a fly
10yo: cuz you talk too much
5yo: you shoulda put ketchup on it
— Linda (@turtledumplin) September 5, 2016
#16. This little feminist.
Me: I am really not into sports, can we talk about something else for a bit?
5yo: don’t be sexist, sports are for girls too
— Anne Thériault (@anne_theriault) August 29, 2016
#17. This kid keeping his mom’s ego from getting over-inflated.
Husband: Isn’t your mom the most beautiful woman ever?
5yo: (thoughtfully) I’m not so sure about that…
Me: quality ego check, babe 💗
— Malin James (@MalinMJames) August 28, 2016
#18. And then this lil stargazer who’s just stating the obvious.
4yo to me: *pointing to night sky* “That’s jupiter.”
Me: “How do you know.”
4yo: “Because it LOOKS like Jupiter, daddy.”
— Shmandy Shmastruc (@AndyAstruc) August 28, 2016